Being Myself, Out Loud

I originally posted the following message to Facebook on 9 November 2022:

Exactly 11 years and 3 months ago to this day, I finally contacted a counsellor to make an appointment. I was really not doing well. It was impacting my career and my quality of life. I was missing meetings because I couldn’t even get out of bed.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and Depression as the result of a manipulative and violent relationship. I’ve continued to see the same counsellor on and off ever since. And slowly, I made progress. Not just to undo the damage, but to keep finding my best self.

Today, I had what I believe to be my last ever counselling session.

For the first time ever, I feel like I know myself completely. I am a pansexual, non-binary human with ADHD & Autism. And, I am very happy with who I am.

Today, I’m celebrating myself and my progress 🥳

Posting that was a huge deal for me. I didn’t know how people would react, and I was scared of losing people I love. Sometimes, it still scares me that I opened a door I can never close again. People may have changed their opinion of me in ways I’m still not aware of. But most people I’ve interacted with since have responded really well. If I lost anyone, I haven’t noticed. I think being open and vulnerable helps people trust you.

I only began to understand how my brain works in my 30s, although I’d always had suspicions. I’ve understood my sexuality since the start of high school (shout-out to Miss Fitzpatrick for giving us the spectrum talk). I don’t regret coming out, but I do regret not coming out earlier. It was a different time, and my life would have been harder in many ways. But it’s easier to love yourself when you’re not pretending to be someone else.